So we’ve been talking (obviously) about the Michael Jackson memorial a fair bit at work today. And I mentioned that I really enjoyed Stevie Wonder’s performance and one of my temps said that he thought it was just okay and that Stevie Wonder was “overrated.” Overrated! I almost fired the ridiculous man on the spot. I told him he had to go home and listen to Superstitious and then come back and talk to me about overrated. Seriously, not liking Stevie Wonder makes you a bad person. I didn’t make this rule, I just know it to be true.
Anyhow, in case you were wondering, here are my thoughts on the memorial:
- Mariah Carey should have come out carrying a basket of puppies and then she should have wept, prettily, throughout her performance
- Didn’t Berry Gordy take all the Jackson’s money when they were with Motown? Either way his speech was nice.
- Yes yes Maya Angelou wrote a poem. Do you think there’s a drawer in her house labeled “Memorial Metaphors” that she goes to whenever a national figure dies
- Magic Johnson was really sweet. I wonder if Michael Jackson helped other sports figures as well. Like did he make Tiger Woods a better golfer? I hope so.
- When Usher sang to the coffin I kind of wanted to punch him. Instead I just said “Oh barf.” to the cat.
- Brooke Shields was rambly but sweet
- Al Sharpton gives me the creeps.
- Stevie Wonder was not overrated
- Lionel Richie! Lionel Richie! Lionel Richie!
- I was actually surprised that Jermaine Jackson sang, it was a weirdly touching moment in the midst of all that macabre spectacle
- Same goes for the short speech given by his daughter. Poor kid.
It was a strange moment in television. Sort of like a church revival but in the Staples Center rather than a tent. The whole thing made me feel vaguely guilty, as if I was watching something not meant for me. This often happens whenever I see grown men cry. Or any grownups cry really. I always feel as if I’m intruding even when it’s done on television