A list of scary things (according to me)

In honor of Hallowe’en I would like to offer you the following list of things that scare me.  Please do not use this list in order to inflict emotional torture on me, that would be an abuse of the unspoken trust we bestow upon each other as users of the internet

Things that scare me (in no particular order)

  1. The old HBO theme music – when I was a kid I used to go over to my friend Amy’s and we would sleep on the sofa bed in her living room.  Late at night after we were supposed to be asleep we would turn on HBO to watch whatever forbidden movie (almost always The Blue Lagoon) happened to be on with the sound turned low.  No matter how quiet we tried to be the HBO theme music at the beginning of each new movie would blare and make us jump.  As a result, I still flinch whenever I hear this music.
  2. The theme form the Exorcist – I have never seen, nor do I intend to ever see, The Exorcist.  I do know, however, that this music is creepy. This was the sign off music for the college radio station, WSGR,  in Port Huron.   I would always stay up late reading books by Christopher Pike and listening to said radio station.  WSGR would sign off at different times each night because they couldn’t always get people to stay really late therefore this horrible creepy song would waft out of my radio at random hours, usually while I was reading some horrible gruesome portion of whatever book I was reading.  Later I became a DJ on WSGR realising an adolescent dream, and was given the 12am – whenever slot on Saturdays.  I loved it because I could get away with playing just about anything I wanted, but I also hated it because it meant having to play that horrible sign off music in the deserted basement of the deserted library in the wee small hours of the morning. 
  3. Spiders – My dad hates spiders, I hate spiders, sadly Jeremy is more scared of them than I am so I can’t girl out about it and refuse to kill them.  This means I must confront this fear on a regular and horrifying basis.
  4. Hannibal Lector – When I was 15 I read Silence of the Lambs thinking if I read it I would be able to watch it.  So I read the stupid book (as loaned to me by the boy I had a massive crush on) and then I watched the stupid movie with my friends.  I still have nightmares about stupid Hannibal Lector.
  5. All scary movies – See number 4.  I am clearly not cut out for scary movies.  Gremlins gave me nightmares for Christ’s sake!  I watched the Blair Witch Project on one of my early dates with Jeremy and was then forced to take many, many precautions in order to turn on my basement light and do laundry at the house where I was living because I was half convinced the Blair Witch had moved to Hamtramck.
  6. Psycho Killers – Just you know, in general, because they are everywhere.  They are quiet and keep to themselves so you don’t notice them until it’s too late.
  7. Teenagers on the bus – They are loud and mean and they listen to horrible music.  They could turn at any moment.
  8. Earwigs and Cockroaches – They are disgusting and gross me out.  Especially the mommoth cockroach that crawled onto my leg in Palermo
  9. Sicillian taxi drivers – There should be a horror movie (that  I would not watch) about them




Filed under dorking it up

2 responses to “A list of scary things (according to me)

  1. Pingback: Scary things! « I am not a reliable narrator

  2. Pingback: Scary things part 3 | I am not a reliable narrator

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