So on Saturday, after working all morning and half the afternoon I went out bowling with some friends. I used to go bowling ALL the time when I was a student at Wayne State University in scenic Detroit, MI. My roommates both worked at the Garden Bowl, so I never had to pay for a lane or shoes and only intermittently did I have to pay for beer. It was a good set up. I was there nearly every weekend drinking Rolling Rock (‘A big ‘un, please, barkeep.’) and haphazardly throwing bowling balls down the lane. It was always fun. Sadly, I was never very good.
While waiting for my friends to show up on Saturday I started thinking about this and wondering. I was sitting at the bar nursing a beer and thinking to myself, how is it that I went bowling at least once a week for 2.5 years and never got any better? That, right there, is some serious dedication to sucking. I rarely break 100 for crissakes. I used to try to convince friends that we should play golf style, you know, lowest score wins. No one ever went for this. Shocking, right?
So as I worked my way up to the humourous score of 66, yes, I said 66, I realised something else that was just as troubling. Not only do I suck at bowling, I’m also really competitive. Really competitive. At one point I remember shouting out to the second to last place bowler, ‘Yeah Waine, 8 pins is all right, but it’s not a strike, is it?’ Only to immediately throw two gutter balls on my next turn. (Waine’s response, ‘You know they’re inanimate objects? You can’t lull them into a false sense of security.’ I’m saving it for later). You would think that with such a vicious competitive streak, I could at least be good. There really ought to be some sort of innate talent to back up all the smack talk.
I’m thinking if I can get some friends together to form some sort of league maybe I can work on this. Also, it would be an excuse to get customised bowling shirts. In the mean time, I wonder if anybody in London sells Rolling Rock? I kind of miss that stuff.