As usual, around my birthday I’ve gotten a bit antsy about life. As in what I’m doing with mine and things that have remained unfinished or just undone in general.
It should be obvious that the first draft of my midwestern gothic epic remains unfinished. It is a sad and shameful fact that I have not even opened the file on my computer in months. It’s not that I’ve forgotten about it, I haven’t, I’ve been thinking about it a lot if you must know, I just haven’t been actively working on it.
The other day I made a list of all the things I want to write about. It was a combination of vague (eg Family/ shared histories / what makes us who we are) and ultra-specific (eg Novel about expat experience structured around Foreigner songs (do not steal this idea, I will pursue legal action if you do, I am totally not kidding)) but it was a good exercise to get my brain in gear.
I also made a list of things to do this week. Like, clean off the dining room table (started, it’s a pretty epic task though, Hercules would ask to go back to the stables), write 3 pages of anything (this counts as 1 right?) and no TV, except Mad Men and Glee when it starts up again. I’ve already broken the no TV rule, but only for BBC morning news and the Daily Show, so that’s not too terrible. But as a result of this decision I’ve been thinking about how much of my active brain I fill up with meaningless crap. Specifically crap about celebrity and tv shows and stupid time wasting things. So I’m going to try limiting my exposure to this sort of stuff. I’m going to spend less time reading about Hollyoaks plotlines of the future, and the dissolving marriage of Sandra Bullock and more time actively working on making my own life and the lives of those around me better.
I’m not going cold turkey or anything (you’ll have to pry Mad Men from my cold dead fingers! Same goes for episodes of ANTM on Youtube, even if this cycle DOES sort of suck, oh and that new show by the creators of The Wire, I’m gonna watch a lot of that (It’s got Bunk, and Omar and John Goodman!)) but I am going to cut back, I’m going to see where my brain takes me when it isn’t spending so much time looking at things that don’t really matter. I’m pretty sure I used to be smarter and more creative. I’d like to bring that back into my life again.
I know I said this last year, but this is the year. I’m going to finish this stupid first draft, maybe even a second if I can get my brain in gear. It’s important, I need to remember that.
On Monday, Jeremy and I are going to Brighton. Normally I do this birthday trip on my own, it’ll be nice to have company though. We’re going to eat cupcakes and look at the sea and go to used bookstores and hopefully find me a new messenger bag. My Pantone bag is near death after 2 years of dedicated use and service. Maybe we’ll drink some wine too, it will be my birthday after all. You only turn 33 once, it ought to be celebrated.
On Sunday, if it doesn’t rain, we’ll be having a birthday picnic on Peckham Rye Common. If it does rain, we’ll go to the pub, I’ll bring Scrabble. Either way it should be a fun time.
Sheee-it this is practically 2 pages, I’ll still just count it as one though.