I keep thinking I want to simplify my existence. You know, have less crap in my home, make more of my own food, grow things in my garden, sew, knit more, make jam.
Don’t ask me why or how I got this idea, but jam making has always seemed like the most domestic thing you can do to my mind. 10 years ago this would have put it solidly at the bottom of the list of things I wanted to spend my time doing. But now, it just sounds nice. Like meditative nice in a way that domestic chores can only truly be if they aren’t born out of necessity. The choice to make jam is the thing. I don’t need to do it as the only way to preserve fruit through the winter, like a pioneer would.
But sitting here in my privileged city based world, with grocery stores around the corner I seem to have developed this desire to become more connected to the process of creating the things I consume.
All that said, I don’t know how practical this desire is. The fact is I can barely muster the energy to look through my post when I come home from work. My house gets cleaned on a quarterly basis (if it’s lucky). And I just tend to sit in the middle of all this sloth talking about all the things I want to be doing without ever actually doing any of them (with the exception of some intermittent knitting).
So I’m not quite ready to start making jam yet. First I need to get my home in order so it can be an appropriate place to make jam and bread and set aside the necessary space for other endeavours.
But how do I do that? How do I get out of my current habits of poor housekeeping and negligent benevolence in the garden? I keep hearing it’s all about making it a habit and staying on top of the little things, but seriously, about the only habit I’ve managed to develop since I was 18 was smoking, and I never even managed to get that up to a pack a day like any of the truly respectable chain smokers in my peer group.
How do other people manage to stay on top of this stuff? And how do you get out from under it in the first place?