I’m easing back into work this week. Stayed home yesterday, but am back in the office today.
It’s weird. Not exactly hard or sad, just weird.
I’m bad at accepting condolences from people. I don’t know how to respond when they say they’re sorry. I revert back to age 12 and get kind of angry, like why are you sorry? You didn’t do this. You had no control over this. I remember feeling exactly the sam way at my grandmother’s memorial service.
It’s not a rational response, so I keep a lid on it. Other irrational responses include an overwhelming sense of resentment an anger whenever I see grumpy old people out and about. I want them to get a better attitude or swap some time with my dad. They should not be wasting their time when his got cut short. Like I said, not rational. I am keeping a lid on that one as well.
This is my dad’s official obituary. We’ll be throwing a party for him in April. He left 3 cds of country western music to be played at this party. Nearly every song has the word beer in the title or references the act of drinking. Not that this is hard to do when working with the country western catalog, I still think it shows a solid and impressive level of dedication on his part.
It goes without saying, although I am saying it anyhow, that I miss him a lot.