I’m easing back into work this week.  Stayed home yesterday, but am back in the office today.

It’s weird.  Not exactly hard or sad, just weird.

I’m bad at accepting condolences from people.  I don’t know how to respond when they say they’re sorry.  I revert back to age 12 and get kind of angry, like why are you sorry?  You didn’t do this.  You had no control over this.  I remember feeling exactly the sam way at my grandmother’s memorial service. 

It’s not a rational response, so I keep a lid on it.  Other irrational responses include an overwhelming sense of resentment an anger whenever I see grumpy old people out and about.  I want them to get a better attitude or swap some time with my dad.  They should not be wasting their time when his got cut short.  Like I said, not rational.  I am keeping a lid on that one as well.

This is my dad’s official obituary.  We’ll be throwing a party for him in April.  He left 3 cds of country western music to be played at this party.  Nearly every song has the word beer in the title or references the act of drinking.  Not that this is hard to do when working with the country western catalog, I still think it shows a solid and impressive level of dedication on his part.

It goes without saying, although I am saying it anyhow, that I miss him a lot.



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2 responses to “Returning

  1. That’s a great obituary. I loved his quote and the fact that he was a soda jerk in his teenage years – wonderful details.

    You were much loved, Hank Kohl….I hope you are broadcasting from a different plane, continuing to send messages of love and humor to your friends and family.

  2. Ola

    It’s different when you lose someone you’ve known your whole life, you only have one dad. I guess when people say they’re sorry they just mean they wish you didn’t have to go through this. It must feel weird having to deal with people right now who are light years away emotionally at the moment.

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