Dear Sir, I hate you

So today after walking nearly two miles in the snow and cold in order to get a bus to work (because London goes haywire when there is non-rain based weather) I finally got to a stop that was apparently safe enough for my normal bus to start from.  I got on said bus and collapsed into my seat, but still made sure there was plenty of room for another passenger to sit next to me.  Because I am polite.

First I sat next to one spread legged man who is apparently so well endowed that he must take up a seat and a half.  His legs will not be contained by the suggested seat size, he might crush his manhood and become a woman, the horrors.  He got off the bus on Old Kent Road, hooray.  But was quickly replaced by another, similarly afflicted gentleman.  The men of London, you see, are not abl to put their knees together whilst riding the bus.  It would certainly emasculate them to the point of no return.

Whatever.  I’m used to this.  It happens nearly every weekday. 

But then, THEN, the bus approached my stop so I stood and said to Big Strong Man #2, “Excuse me, please,” very politely.  He looked at me and groaned like a 12-year-old and just turned to the side.  Turned to the side.  Did not stand up like a grown ass person to let me by, but turned his relatively large form to the side, leaving me about 6 inches to squeeze by.  And they say chivalry is dead!

I wanted to hit him.  I think I might be in the anger stage of grief right now (at the very least, I’m in the anger stage of commuting) it would not have been surprising if I had hit him.  But I did not, gentle reader (s), no I very icily said, “Would you please stand up?”  He may have rolled his petulant eyes at me but he did stand up and I am certain that he will cry himself to sleep out of shame for at least the next week.  Maybe 2 weeks even. 

I may or may not have said, “Thanks a lot, jerk,” with the word jerk under my breath, as I walked away.  I had trouble sleeping last night so I’m having trouble remembering anything past my imperious “Would you please stand up?” but I am sure he felt the full force of my scorn regardless.  And now his rudeness has been posted onto the internets for posterity.  He shall never live this down (at least not in my imagination).


1 Comment

Filed under busshole

One response to “Dear Sir, I hate you

  1. blueroses

    Brava. I applaud your ability to heap scorn upon this miscreant.

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