Oh, today.

Some days you wait for with dread.  You know they’re coming and you feel a fist closing in your chest.  Or I do anyhow.

If you’re lucky you don’t have many of them, but most people have one or two I’d think.  They probably get easier with time.  No, they absolutely do.  There are days that used to leave me a weepy mess that now pass unnoticed every year.

But today, today is a properly miserable day.  Never mind that it’s sunny and warm out.  Today marks a full year during which life has gone on in a world without my dad.  And, really, that’s a shame.  I’d like to give today back.  Get a do over on this day last year and the month leading up to it.

It’s just so completely lousy knowing that my kid won’t get know my dad.  My dad who has a proven track record of being a pretty great Grandpa.  It’s not fair, that’s life though right.  He’d have been the first to remind me of that, probably while pretending to play the world’s smallest violin.


I miss him too much today.


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