Also

Jeremy and I both passed our Life in the UK tests.  Which means we can now move on with our applications for Permanent Residency.  If we get those approved that means we will no longer have to apply for new Visas on a regular basis, it will also make it easier for us to renew our mortgage (something you do on the regular here), and it will be an excuse for us to throw a party.

Why is it such a big deal anyhow?

So on occasion, you may have noticed, I have complained about the regular and sustained mispronunciation of my name here in the United Kingdom.

You may have wondered, why does it matter anyhow?  Well let me tell you.

1. It is rude and lazy to mispronounce someone’s name after they have politely pointed out the problem.  I admit that Caroline and Carolyn are very similar names and I understand why you might mispronounce it once or twice, but this should just make it easier, rather than harder to make the correction.  It is also lazy when the spelling of my name is provided in all of my email addresses and you still spell and mispronounce it incorrectly.  Just read to the last syllable.  It’s not hard.
2. Caroline is not my name.  It never has been my name.  And while it is a lovely name (in fact, I have friends named Caroline, they are awesome) is not now , will not ever be and never has been my name.
3. My parents chose this name for me with much deliberation.  I am named for my grandmothers.  Their first names are both variations on Ann so I received their middle names .  These names have history and tie me directly to two of my favourite women.  When you mispronounce my name you insult my Grandma Kohl, and she will haunt you.  True fact.  She could hold a grudge like you would not believe.  The Harrisburg Red Lobster is still shamed by her boycott in the 80s.  (interesting sidenote here, I was almost named Brynn Anna, but my father wisely pointed out that the kids would almost certainly call me banana so that idea was scrapped.)
4. It is disrespectful.  It is especially disrespectful when you do any of the following: roll your eyes at me like I am being unreasonable by expecting you to correct a very easy error to correct, tell me ‘it’s kind of a tomato / tomahto situation’ (It’s not.  My name is neither a vegetable or a fruit, it is my NAME).  Or insist on calling me by the wrong name on purpose just to be annoying.  And yes, people have done this.  People at work, people in my family, people I’ve just met. 
5. It messes things up!  If the incorrect name is written down on something it could screw my life up in a variety of ways.  It makes it more difficult for me to collect packages if the name on my ID doesn’t match the name on the address label.  It could potentially screw up my Visa process, which is why I took an exception to Mr Tomato/Tomahto the other day as I settled in for my Life in the UK test, if my name had been misspelled on any of that paperwork it would have caused me troubles down the road.  The Home Office, never messes up my name and they are not very understanding in general.  My hunch is that they would not stand for typos.
6. It doesn’t reflect well on you the stubborn mispronouncer.  If you can’t be bothered to make the effort to get something so easy right then you are either lazy or a jerk.  Maybe both.  And why would you want to be either of those things?

Life in the UK, test me on it!

So I need to finish studying for my Life in the UK test as Jeremy and I will be taking it on Tuesday in Lewisham.
But good God, this stuff is boring! I should know, I have flash cards to prove it. So I am taking a short study break to tell the internet about it.
There are only 24 questions on the test which is both good and bad, good because it should be over quickly; bad because there isn’t much wiggle room.

So, if you can, spare me a thought at noon GMT on Tuesday. I’m pretty sure I’ll be fine but a littlee extra support never hurts.

THIS IS GETTING REALLY OLD

Maybe I should just change my name and give up this ridiculous sentimental attachment I have to the one I was born with.

The Life Lessons of Kenny Rogers

A friend of mine is planning a poker night in a couple of weeks.  He’s invited a group of us and many of the invitees are claiming that they either don’t know how to play poker or are very bad at it.  I would like to invite them to view the following video:

That’s all you need to know about poker, ever, right there in song form.  You can watch the TV movie too, if you feel like it, but I wouldn’t say it’s strictly necessary.

Other things you can learn from Kenny Rogers:

• Duets are always better with Dolly Parton (EG Islands in the Stream)
• There is such a thing as too much plastic surgery (unless you are Dolly Parton, in which case you are exempt from all the rules that apply to normal mortal people anyhow)
• There will be time enough for counting when the dealing’s done.  It’s true.